A message to all single ladies out there from charley boy

f you're a single lady...this message is for
you from Mr Charles Oputa
All the single ladies reading this, chin-up
and give your good self a thumb up.
Nothing doest thou. Last week I had a
father/daughter discussion with my
Princess. I could feel the frustration in
her tone as we spoke about different
issues. When I asked about her boyfriend
she gave me a very long and irritated
“Naija babe” hiss, she aired out her
frustrations with this whole dating
business. "Daddy we are no longer
dating." “I’m so very sorry my love, but
what happened I queried,” very anxious
to hear the gist, cause me and my
Princess are just that close. This is my
daughter’s 3rd boyfriend since she
started dating, and she has only been
with him for barely 6months… "Daddy,
please I’m tired, he is not ambitious, he
has no drive, and he is too laid back for
his own good, how can I marry a man
like that? To make matters worse, he
thinks I am overly ambitious, he says I
do way too much – please tell me how
that’s a bad thing.” Hummmmm, my
daughter, my princess my pride and joy
is unhappy.
You see since childhood, my Princess has
been very independent, very focused and
determined - no nonsense kind of ‘chic’, (can
an apple fall too far from its tree). She is
intelligent and extremely hardworking, I mean
what more could a man ask for in a woman?
Quickly, I was thinking of how to calm my
ticked off Princess down. "Darling, you know
daddy will always love you no matter what,
most importantly you know damn too well that
you are not under any pressure to get married.
So be patient, concentrate on your carrier and
yourself my darling, he will come when he
comes, and if he doesn't come, have your
baby, I wouldn't mind another grandchild." Did
I really say that? Oh! Yes I did, and I meant
that.
Single ladies are on the rise these days,
because for a long time coming, there has
been an explosion of male joblessness in
Nigeria and the world over. There has also
been a decline in men's life prospects that
have disrupted and distorted the dating or the
"marriage market", in a way that narrows a
marriage minded woman's options. Today all
the Nigerian single "good" ladies who are
desirous to settle down are at a cross road in
their dating life, most of them are simply tired,
a lot are frustrated and many are giving up.
Their options are really limited; it is mostly
between the millions of Gigolos or the
deadbeat, some of who are pretending that
they are waiting for Jesus before they get it
together; those who don't have ambition
burning in their soul. I can't believe that I told
my daughter to go ahead and have a baby
out of wedlock. Well, with the way things are
playing out in our environment, it is time we
embraced new ideas about dating and
marriage. Society’s highest institution called
"Marriage" is fast becoming old fashioned and
outdated. Look around and see the alarming
rate of divorce matters all over the place,
something is definitely wrong my people. At
this rate, falling in love and getting married will
be a question of choice rather than societal
expectation or luck. Frankly speaking, women
have climbed so high in their independence
and career and are doing way better than the
men. Men have been falling behind with
amazing alacrity. Good single women are so
disappointed and it’s unimaginable, it's like
going to a party that has been the talk of the
town for long. You buy your new dress hoping
to show off at the party, but by the time you
land, they tell you that all the good people
have left, and the ones left are really the
servants, their friends or relatives who have
come to scavenge on the left over food.
Believe it or not, that's the situation today, no
kidding.
Since the days of my grandfather, marriage
has been primarily an economic and political
contract between 2 families, prized and
policed by families, relatives and community.
That’s why in my village, they will tell you "no
be only your wife/husband you they
marryoooooo" Things have changed since
then, most of our dates are from facebook, bb
chat, online dating, the hocus-pocus church
called Pentecostals, etc. There is no doubt in
my mind that we are in the midst of an
extraordinary change. The transformation of
young outstanding women, considered
marriage material, is momentous, immensely
liberating and immensely scary for prospective
suitors. All the old ways are breaking down,
these days ladies want to be in-charge of their
lives, you can't blame them. Forget about the
days of being submissive, na for your pocket.
Forget about marriage vows where it says
about obeying your husbands, hummmm joor,
they are not slaves, understanding works
better. Do they need husbands to have babies
these days? Please don't get this twisted,
marriage is divine and sweet when you can
not only find a soul mate, but someone who
can inspire you, respect you, love you, adore
your feminity and independence. They are
hard to find oooooo. My daughter knows that
finding a good man is like finding a needle in a
haystack. None the less, should women feel
psychologically defeated? Hell No! Most men
who don't know what time it is are still locked
down with that old macho bullshit, that it is a
Man’s world. Hummmmm for where, my
people, women run things now, let’s get used
to it, abegi, so our days on earth will be longer
joor.
My princess, my baby, my joy, my little big girl
knows that her character, her pedigree, her
background, her ambition, her zeal and
courage will most likely intimidate a lot of
men out there, she realizes that this will
further narrow her pool of prospects, just like
she is also aware that with each passing year
she is getting older and never younger but the
options stay very limited. All I’m trying to say
is this, I tip my hat for all the "good" single
ladies out there, keep the fate, I admire your
courage in not wanting to settle for any trash
out there. If it doesn't fit, trash it, finding a life
time partner is not ‘moimoi’. The world is
already too troubled for you to be in a
relationship that you know will not make you
happy. Women can see these things ahead
you know, that's why they are a special breed
of God’s creation. I have discovered lately that
men need women in their lives to keep them
stable, but if push comes to a shove, women
don't really need men, a case in point, ‘The
great Oprah’. Yes, good men are hard to find,
ask Lady D. Ha!!